Bonny remembers when she used to paint, it feels like forever ago, since she's watched the colors from a messy pallet become a thing of beauty on a canvas. That was her favorite part of painting, to take something that was nothing and make it into a thing of beauty. She's afraid that once she leaves here she will no longer be able to light to the darkness and bring art to a blank page.
She thinks to herself, I'm growing tired, and time is standing still before me, frozen here on this 'board' of my life, is it too late to save myself from falling. Then she feels the grip tighten on her wrist and looks up and sees Rene. He holds her so tight to keep her from falling, then she looks back and sees those she's holding on to. She's not alone in this room, Daniel was right, they have to work together in order to not just survive this, but to win; to show Cipher that the human spirit will not be hardened by pain and death, instead it will flourish. Grief may be the price you pay for love and laughter, but... its worth paying. To live without love or laughter is no life at all and grief passes, life lives forever in our minds and hearts.
She watched Daniel and Ross be dragged into that dark room and just had the door closed on them. She hopes the door has not closed on her; she prays she won't be blinded by the light of a blank canvas and stand there unable to do anything with it. She doesn't want the sun to go down on her like this, she's searched herself and there is now someone else she sees. But what does Rene see when he looks at her, she can't find the right romantic line to say to him as he holds on to her, knowing he's barely holding on himself. She just wants to see him once and see the way she feels, she doesn't want to look at anyone again in this room and have them discard her because she thinks she'll do them harm.
Bonny feels his strong grip on her forearm and she clenches back in acknowledgement and smiles. She looks down to those she's hanging on to and sees the worry in their eyes and she tightens her grip with them to give a silent reassurance of hope. She'll get out of this room alive, she'll do what she has to do to survive, but going forward it will not be at the cost of another persons life.
These wounds she has need love to help them heal. She'll try and be a new person and hope the others see her as such, she and Rene will get through this. Her fears have subsided and now she holds onto the people in this room with not just her hands but she's going to try and hold on to them with her heart too.
She will paint a new picture
She will allow light into the darkness
She prays Don't let the sun go down on me, not like this.
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